As I reflect on my own life, I love to hear others stories. I am not always thrilled as to what I hear in regards to the progress through a hardship. However it could teach me a lesson about myself and other people. Today was the day before Christmas Eve, so it is a rigorously traveled holiday. I snapped my ankle about 5 weeks ago in two different spots. I had surgery the whole nine yards it wasn't an easy thing, and still isn't but I accept life as it is. As I woke I had plans to meet with a friend. He is an older man much wiser than I, and we share ideas. I mainly go there to hear his wisdom, striving to understand what I don't already know about myself. As I grab my crutches and make my way from my apartment down a set of 30 stairs, I encounter the rain and dampness. Bracing myself to possibly break my fall say I slip or something of that nature. Luckily I was careful and in tune so I didn't have a problem there. I get into my car even though its complicated, I am almost ready to get on the interstate north.
Meanwhile just before I pull away my neighbor downstairs approaches my car window. For the sake of not exploiting anyone I will call him Greg. I roll my window down and Greg says hows the ankle buddy? I reply with good, I am heading north to meet with a friend in Martlon N.J. Greg says oh wow, alright. I then notice he needed a ride and it was raining. I pressed further asking him if he needed a lift. He said sure, I need to get to the market, and Smitty's or the liquor store to be exact. As we drive he tells me how he lost his clam boat off Atlantic City N.J. in 1990. Crazy story Greg goes onto say my life everything flashed before my eyes I thought I was dead. I was 21 miles off the coast the boat capsized and I was in 8-10 foot seas. I tend to be very inspired by people, and these crazy experiences. To me it is something to take along and pass on to future generations. I was going through minor withdrawal from opioid painkillers after my ankle surgery. Everything to do with the ankle hurt, and the ankle had to be elevated 24 hours a day, even when I slept. The moment I thought I was fine with no painkillers my pain would race ahead of me and become severe and intense. This happened to the point where I would be screaming bloody murder my apartment complex neighbors and roommate would hear. Through the withdrawal experiencing it personally and in high school having close friends do heroin I know the danger of these drugs used improperly.
Greg then goes onto say how were them percocets I bet they felt nice. I was about to knock on your door and see if you wanted to sell any. I wasn't surprised of this as this man is an alcoholic to the max unfortunately. He is an elder to me so disrespecting him is out of the question for me personally. I truly felt like saying listen pal "I don't party like that". Bringing me back to my teaching of psychology and what I have observed over the last 10 years. I see this man is self medicating with alcohol, and pills in order to escape something. He doesn't drive obviously I see him riding a bike all over. So we have a guy with obvious financial problems along with no license or car. Most would write him off as a drunk, pill addict you know the deal. It really is not my style to judge so I would rather understand something. My understanding of someone who drinks like a fish and pops pills like a diabetic has an underlying issue. You see no one wants to be the guy that would like to be drunk and have that narcotic drug feeling all day. Unless that feels better than feeling the world around them as it is. Though I have sympathy and compassion for this man, his problems are not mine. However I see this man either never had proper direction in his life, or proper nurturing. Even a situation where he experienced trauma that he cannot escape.Now without shrinking his head for 20 hours over the course of a year, I don't know everything. The clues are written all over his body. I firmly believe our bodies wear the symptoms of our problems. Stress can cause an ulcer and even cancer. However the human body can create a baby inside of itself. When you lose an arm the opposite one becomes stronger. If a bone breaks it can heal back together. So the human body can heal itself given the proper attention. Greg also told me a story where he was drunk, and fell breaking 3 ribs and puncturing a lung. I'll take a broken ankle over that any day. Punctured lung sounds terrible, but he told this story as a bragging right to some degree. As I asked him what he is doing for the holiday, he replied with nothing, no money, and these holidays are depressing if you ask me. I chuckled and said "yea I hear ya man". One thing after another, this man truly needs help. Seems as though he has endured a lot of pain in his lifetime, and self medicates to escape reality. This is interesting to me, because in our society we shun people like this, and judge and criticize. When really this is a clear and present "cry for help"!
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Saturday, December 20, 2014
A battle to fight, An Adventure to live, A beauty to rescue
So true that's what all men want. To be swept up into an apocalyptic battle where good crushes the head of evil ,and reigns for eternity. Kayaking in the rough seas of a hurricane to make it to shore. Finally slaying a dragon while making his way up the castle stairs, where his princess waits.
So true isnt it? Every man wants this I know I do. I read a book once by "John Eldredge" that put all this into perspective for me. As time goes on I am learning more and more what all this truly means. You see a stale life where you protect yourself from danger is no life at all. Unfortunately this is the life which most men live. Henry David Thoreau is quoted in the 1800's saying "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them". I sit here laughing as I read that because I see how true this is amongst groups of people. The bottom line is life hurts and to experience the good things, the bad is there to balance while teaching you. As a little kid I was into all the knight in shining armor stuff. I truly thought I belonged on the biggest horse, swinging the biggest sword with the biggest shield. I wanted to do this all in the name of righteousness. From morning till night from about 5 years old till about 8 maybe even after that I did battle. I was all over the woods with the kids from my neighborhood, pretending to spot the enemy always victorious in the end. We used such an imagination that it almost became real to us. Those were such the days when I look back I keep these memories among my treasures. This side of me still exists just in a more adult form in which, if the time came I would fight for a cause. A cause much more worthy to fight for than the ones seen today throughout the world. A cause that would put a stamp on global conflicts and make peace on earth.
Every man too wants to go on an adventure. I have gone on many throughout my life. The craziest ones are the ones where I have came close to dying. I think more so taken this biggest risk, I love my adrenaline pumping. I remember when I surfed religiously around 16 years old. During hurricane season I was off the coast of the Jersey Shore in rough 6-8 foot seas pulling into these sets like wow! The power and thrust of this wave was so much to feel and handle. I was always in amazement rushing into the water paddling out to catch the best waves and ride them to shore. My hobbies the last couple years are the gym and Mixed Martial Arts. In the summer of 2012 when I was dead set that I was going to law school I had quite an experience. I flew to California with my dad to look at "Thomas Jefferson School of Law" in San Diego California. First time ever on the west coast I had a blast. After touring the school and being impressed, my dad and I got a cab heading for "The Arena". I wanted to train with guys from California to test myself while I was out there as well. I stopped into this gym called "The Arena" I was welcomed with open arms as class started. As a class we drill alot of ground attacks and submission grappling techniques. When it was time to "roll" or live spar, some may say wrestle even. I slapped hands and went at it with this big dude about 250lbs. I immediately caught him in an armbar, but couldn't finish it. He had good defense, but I just kept cranking. The bell rung and it was the end of the match. The coach "Pat Spite" former Professional Mixed Martial Artist and well respected grappling competitor says you know what you did wrong right? I say not really what? He replied you pulled too hard in the nook on his arm go higher. I laughed at myself simply overlooking that aspect. It ended that I matched up very well with these guys. Although I no longer care to become a lawyer I still would love to do my graduate degree in California.These are the experiences that assure me that I belong right in the heat of action. Slaying the biggest beasts, fighting against the biggest strongest men. I am sure most men at least want to feel this way. For those of us that are confident in it however it is such an experience. So my adventure was learning what aspects of my ground game I overlooked. Then I also found out that I am just as good as guys who train at a top MMA school. It was such a rich time for me, and I am so happy to have spent it with my dad. California was great the food, the people, the entertainment its is quite an adventure.
So for the beauty, this is the tough part. As Eldredge says "Most men don't know what to do with this longing". I know for myself I know what I want to do with it. I want to find the beauty rescue her and live happily ever after, just like the fairytale. I have experienced love one time in my younger years. I will tell you what the feeling of being in love will make you want to climb Mount Everest. What a woman can do to a man, when he is in love is crazy. The man will disregard everything facts, you name it when he is in love. My experience of this truly crept up on me when I was younger. I just remember how much of a sweet time I had with this young lady. She was fun, happy, full of life, and I was crazy about her. It happened so suddenly and took its course from there. Saddened by the way things ended, I would hate to point fingers because I know we are both great people. The two of us had it made when we were together. I had never felt on fire for a girl like I did this young lady. I remember when I would see her in the hallways at school and she would smile at me at a distance ,and I couldn't help but to smile back in such happiness. This girl always put a smile on my face. How it fell apart is devastating to me I often ponder this. I blame myself in some ways, in other ways I just feel compromised. How could such a beautiful thing fall apart like that. Showing my vulnerabilities as a young man seemed like the hardest thing to do. Opening up to a woman showing her where your scared, fears you can hear it. Such a hard thing for a man to do, but necessary for a healthy bond with someone. I haven't experienced the feeling that I felt with this young lady since. So much was left unsaid, and unspoken about. So much chaos, confusion and misunderstanding. What do I do with this longing? Tucking it deep never works, but will suppress the issue. I feel like it will always return to visit me in different ways. Letting go entirely is the hardest because I think and think the what if? Although a difficult place to be I am happy and ok to be there. I know at the time I truly threw my best at it. I truly did, I just wish I had been as wise as I am now. I could have made such a difference in positive ways. The saying goes but, "everything happens for a reason" what ever that means.I wish there was a different outcome, I wish things worked out differently. Though I guess everyone has their white buffalo. Possibly feeling some aches for some years to come, I know the future is bright with opportunities to come!
So true isnt it? Every man wants this I know I do. I read a book once by "John Eldredge" that put all this into perspective for me. As time goes on I am learning more and more what all this truly means. You see a stale life where you protect yourself from danger is no life at all. Unfortunately this is the life which most men live. Henry David Thoreau is quoted in the 1800's saying "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them". I sit here laughing as I read that because I see how true this is amongst groups of people. The bottom line is life hurts and to experience the good things, the bad is there to balance while teaching you. As a little kid I was into all the knight in shining armor stuff. I truly thought I belonged on the biggest horse, swinging the biggest sword with the biggest shield. I wanted to do this all in the name of righteousness. From morning till night from about 5 years old till about 8 maybe even after that I did battle. I was all over the woods with the kids from my neighborhood, pretending to spot the enemy always victorious in the end. We used such an imagination that it almost became real to us. Those were such the days when I look back I keep these memories among my treasures. This side of me still exists just in a more adult form in which, if the time came I would fight for a cause. A cause much more worthy to fight for than the ones seen today throughout the world. A cause that would put a stamp on global conflicts and make peace on earth.
Every man too wants to go on an adventure. I have gone on many throughout my life. The craziest ones are the ones where I have came close to dying. I think more so taken this biggest risk, I love my adrenaline pumping. I remember when I surfed religiously around 16 years old. During hurricane season I was off the coast of the Jersey Shore in rough 6-8 foot seas pulling into these sets like wow! The power and thrust of this wave was so much to feel and handle. I was always in amazement rushing into the water paddling out to catch the best waves and ride them to shore. My hobbies the last couple years are the gym and Mixed Martial Arts. In the summer of 2012 when I was dead set that I was going to law school I had quite an experience. I flew to California with my dad to look at "Thomas Jefferson School of Law" in San Diego California. First time ever on the west coast I had a blast. After touring the school and being impressed, my dad and I got a cab heading for "The Arena". I wanted to train with guys from California to test myself while I was out there as well. I stopped into this gym called "The Arena" I was welcomed with open arms as class started. As a class we drill alot of ground attacks and submission grappling techniques. When it was time to "roll" or live spar, some may say wrestle even. I slapped hands and went at it with this big dude about 250lbs. I immediately caught him in an armbar, but couldn't finish it. He had good defense, but I just kept cranking. The bell rung and it was the end of the match. The coach "Pat Spite" former Professional Mixed Martial Artist and well respected grappling competitor says you know what you did wrong right? I say not really what? He replied you pulled too hard in the nook on his arm go higher. I laughed at myself simply overlooking that aspect. It ended that I matched up very well with these guys. Although I no longer care to become a lawyer I still would love to do my graduate degree in California.These are the experiences that assure me that I belong right in the heat of action. Slaying the biggest beasts, fighting against the biggest strongest men. I am sure most men at least want to feel this way. For those of us that are confident in it however it is such an experience. So my adventure was learning what aspects of my ground game I overlooked. Then I also found out that I am just as good as guys who train at a top MMA school. It was such a rich time for me, and I am so happy to have spent it with my dad. California was great the food, the people, the entertainment its is quite an adventure.
So for the beauty, this is the tough part. As Eldredge says "Most men don't know what to do with this longing". I know for myself I know what I want to do with it. I want to find the beauty rescue her and live happily ever after, just like the fairytale. I have experienced love one time in my younger years. I will tell you what the feeling of being in love will make you want to climb Mount Everest. What a woman can do to a man, when he is in love is crazy. The man will disregard everything facts, you name it when he is in love. My experience of this truly crept up on me when I was younger. I just remember how much of a sweet time I had with this young lady. She was fun, happy, full of life, and I was crazy about her. It happened so suddenly and took its course from there. Saddened by the way things ended, I would hate to point fingers because I know we are both great people. The two of us had it made when we were together. I had never felt on fire for a girl like I did this young lady. I remember when I would see her in the hallways at school and she would smile at me at a distance ,and I couldn't help but to smile back in such happiness. This girl always put a smile on my face. How it fell apart is devastating to me I often ponder this. I blame myself in some ways, in other ways I just feel compromised. How could such a beautiful thing fall apart like that. Showing my vulnerabilities as a young man seemed like the hardest thing to do. Opening up to a woman showing her where your scared, fears you can hear it. Such a hard thing for a man to do, but necessary for a healthy bond with someone. I haven't experienced the feeling that I felt with this young lady since. So much was left unsaid, and unspoken about. So much chaos, confusion and misunderstanding. What do I do with this longing? Tucking it deep never works, but will suppress the issue. I feel like it will always return to visit me in different ways. Letting go entirely is the hardest because I think and think the what if? Although a difficult place to be I am happy and ok to be there. I know at the time I truly threw my best at it. I truly did, I just wish I had been as wise as I am now. I could have made such a difference in positive ways. The saying goes but, "everything happens for a reason" what ever that means.I wish there was a different outcome, I wish things worked out differently. Though I guess everyone has their white buffalo. Possibly feeling some aches for some years to come, I know the future is bright with opportunities to come!
Once Upon a Time
Once upon a time, its always been a phrase I've loved. It is so crazy how time periods of my life which are further from me feel closer. The lessons I have learned the ways in which I have progressed forward is such a blessing to my soul. I am sitting here on my couch on a Sunday night, now early Monday morning. I feel a sense of urgency to get this story out.
In 2011 at 21 after a few rough years in my life in which I embraced the struggle. I was working a lot of hours as a bouncer, while going to school part time. I worked at a local college bar across the street from Rowan University in Glassboro NJ know as "Landmark Americana". My older cousin Justin worked there as well so it was nice to see family each night at work. I worked mainly the patios and the deck which was a lot of fun. I met a lot of people I became really good friends with, and experienced a lot of wild action.
It was a February night, and my duty was to make sure things stayed under control in the parking lot. I paced the parking lot all night making sure no one was fighting, drinking, or loitering around the lot. The night always started out rough, fighting for parking spots, dealing with the local gangs stirring up trouble. So as I pace the lot an SUV which I recall was a Cadillac Escalade slows next to me and rolls the window down. Guy most like his late 20's or early 30's in the passenger seat says "hey buddy". I turned to firmly greet him and I said "What can I do for you sir". He says "well" reaches into his back pocket, which somewhat alarmed me. He then flashed his Police badge and said "Hey can you find me a parking spot". I chuckled, and said "that badge doesn't mean nothing to me buddy". I proceeded to say "parking is first come first serve" "You guys have a safe night". This off duty cop and his friend driving the SUV find a spot to park, a good spot too. This same guy who flashes his badge at me gets out of the SUV drinking a beer. I yell "yo man get rid of the beer", "he responds with its almost empty buddy don't worry about it". I see this guy throw his beer almost breaking the bottle into the rocky landscaping of the lot. He heads toward the front door I radio him in to the front to let them know what this guy did. Somehow he and his friend find their way into the facility anyhow. I then walk toward this SUV and see two empty Miller Lite's in the cup holders. Now I have not been a saint when it comes to drinking and driving in my younger years prior to 21 believe it or not. However if your going to be a cop there is a certain level of conduct you must uphold at all times. So this guy drinks and drives lets his friend do it as well, and then arrests people for it. So hypocritical and immature on his part, this guy came off to me as a careless bastard. I hate to say that, however a DWI charge will devastate an individual and their family. This guy was a cop and seemed not to care much about how he acted or whose life he made a living hell. I care about people too much for that lifestyle. Later in the night he and his friend stumbled into the SUV clearly tanked. About 200 feet down the road they get pulled over. Within about 5 minutes they drive away and so do the Glassboro Police. I learned a cop won't give another cop a charge like that if he can get away with it. You don't know who he knows in the system and he doesn't know who you know in the system. So maybe it is just better to not talk about it. Some things are unbelievable this is one of them.
In 2011 at 21 after a few rough years in my life in which I embraced the struggle. I was working a lot of hours as a bouncer, while going to school part time. I worked at a local college bar across the street from Rowan University in Glassboro NJ know as "Landmark Americana". My older cousin Justin worked there as well so it was nice to see family each night at work. I worked mainly the patios and the deck which was a lot of fun. I met a lot of people I became really good friends with, and experienced a lot of wild action.
It was a February night, and my duty was to make sure things stayed under control in the parking lot. I paced the parking lot all night making sure no one was fighting, drinking, or loitering around the lot. The night always started out rough, fighting for parking spots, dealing with the local gangs stirring up trouble. So as I pace the lot an SUV which I recall was a Cadillac Escalade slows next to me and rolls the window down. Guy most like his late 20's or early 30's in the passenger seat says "hey buddy". I turned to firmly greet him and I said "What can I do for you sir". He says "well" reaches into his back pocket, which somewhat alarmed me. He then flashed his Police badge and said "Hey can you find me a parking spot". I chuckled, and said "that badge doesn't mean nothing to me buddy". I proceeded to say "parking is first come first serve" "You guys have a safe night". This off duty cop and his friend driving the SUV find a spot to park, a good spot too. This same guy who flashes his badge at me gets out of the SUV drinking a beer. I yell "yo man get rid of the beer", "he responds with its almost empty buddy don't worry about it". I see this guy throw his beer almost breaking the bottle into the rocky landscaping of the lot. He heads toward the front door I radio him in to the front to let them know what this guy did. Somehow he and his friend find their way into the facility anyhow. I then walk toward this SUV and see two empty Miller Lite's in the cup holders. Now I have not been a saint when it comes to drinking and driving in my younger years prior to 21 believe it or not. However if your going to be a cop there is a certain level of conduct you must uphold at all times. So this guy drinks and drives lets his friend do it as well, and then arrests people for it. So hypocritical and immature on his part, this guy came off to me as a careless bastard. I hate to say that, however a DWI charge will devastate an individual and their family. This guy was a cop and seemed not to care much about how he acted or whose life he made a living hell. I care about people too much for that lifestyle. Later in the night he and his friend stumbled into the SUV clearly tanked. About 200 feet down the road they get pulled over. Within about 5 minutes they drive away and so do the Glassboro Police. I learned a cop won't give another cop a charge like that if he can get away with it. You don't know who he knows in the system and he doesn't know who you know in the system. So maybe it is just better to not talk about it. Some things are unbelievable this is one of them.
Friday, December 19, 2014
A Misfortune for Many Men
They say history is written by the winners. I look at our world today, not much has changed since World War one which was now 100 years ago. Sure mankind has advanced in technology, but we are still at war spilling unnecessary blood. Crazy to think my late Grandmother was born in 1913 in Sicily, so she lived through this war in Europe.Although very young, it amazes me to think that "No Man's Land" and "Trench Warfare" was a time period that she existed.
I wonder what the world would have been like if these world wars never took place. Between the two greatest world wars 80 million died, 20 million in the first world war, and 60 million in the second world war. If I watch a movie lately it has been "Band of Brothers" or "The Pacific" I see such a waste of life. I am careful what movies I take for truth, but it is good to get some insight. Alot of these military company's are young men anywhere from 16-25. It is disheartening to me to think young blood was spilled like that, and for what? When Army paratroopers dropped behind enemy lines in Normandy they were scattered all across the French countryside a lot of their equipment was lost and a lot of this mission became unorganized at that point. The beaches of Normandy was a disaster, men leaving the transports 60 at a time just getting mowed down by machine gun bunkers.
As we all know the Nazi party from the 1920's to 1945 in Europe was extremely advanced for their time. They had information and technology that wasn't heard of in that age yet. My late grandfather was a "Master Sergeant" in the Army during World War 2. He left Oran Algeria in North Africa boarding a ship called the "MHT Rohna". It was a British royalty ship used in the 1920's to bring goods from India to Britain in those years ,and was also used by his Majesty for vacation in earlier years. It was later used as a troop transport to bring soldiers to the "Burma,China,India theater of war. The men boarded meanwhile 13 miles off the coast it is said men looking out the portholes see about 30-50 Nazi warplanes approaching this convoy of ships headed for Burma,China,India theater. The Rohna had no anti aircraft weapons however the other ships in the convoy did. The Nazi planes were being shot down at a distance as they approached this convoy of about 13 ships I recall. The boys were clapping whistling and cheering every time a plane went down. One man recalls "saying it was quite a show to watch". Shortly the firing had ceased, meanwhile a Larger plane known as a "Luftwaffe" dropped a small "toy aircraft" looking object from his plane. This small toy aircraft begins flying toward the Rohna all a sudden "Kaboom".
The boys on the ship said the blast from this bomb killed many men instantly, wood splintered and stabbed right through men on impact killing them. Others were knocked out due to how hard the blast was. I recall an older man stating in 2011 " you could grab a two by four and hit me, and it was not as hard as that blast". Meanwhile the men are traumatized by what had just happened ,and thinking what did the Nazi's use as a weapon against our ship? The whole in the side was said to be big enough for a mac truck. So within 90 minutes the ship went down. The lifeboats were destroyed on impact of the bomb. A lot of men are trapped in the boat and never come out, some men are burning alive in the water from the oil leaking from the engine room. Other men are swimming away from the ship to avoid being sucked under. This took place November 25, 1943 so the Mediterranean was extremely cold. So all these men in the water and as the ship went down it is said it was chaos and not even the officers knew what to do. When the ship went down the Nazi's had returned in their warplanes and had their machine guns chirping. Men were getting mowed down in the water trying to get away swimming for their lives. When the siege was over and the Nazi's left the USS Pioneer rescued the survivors. Casualties added up to more than 1,100 mostly US troops. The survivors were brought onto the USS Pioneer given hot food and showers. Later there was a briefing where the men were told never to speak of this incident it is classified. Not among themselves, in letters, nothing at all. If they did they would be brought before a Court Marshall. This is sad because families never knew what happened to loved ones till it was declassified in 1983, the year my late grandfather died. A tragedy of losing more than 1,000 men should be recognized. The remaining survivors of the Rohna were then sent to Burma,China, and India to continue their mission of stopping the Japanese advance into India and the Middle East.I recall my dad saying Fredrick was stationed in Karachi Pakistan for some time as well. It was later revealed that the Nazi's used a Henschel HS 293 Glider Bomb. Which is better know today as a cruise missile. It was a remote controlled missile that was launched by an operator in the nose of the plane with a joy stick similar to Atari or Nintendo. No one in 1943 had ever seen something like that so to know the enemy had this technology was scary. The sinking of the MHT Rohna was the first time ever a cruise missile was used in warfare, and it was second greatest tragedy at sea next to Pearl Harbor.
I am speaking of only one incident during World War 2. What about all the other things my late grandfather and other military personnel saw or experienced? Seeing friends die, the look on another mans face when you stab him in the chest with a bayonet. The feeling that I cannot forget the looks on their faces. Only to think they had families and loved ones as well as I. Or they were only fighting for the freedom of their nation. My uncles say he never spoke about the war. I believe this is because of what he saw, and not because of his orders to keep it s secret. My late grandfather Fredrick even came home with a Nazi Luger. Better known as a German P-08 pistol. This was popular amongst soldiers in war to kill a Nazi and take their Luger home. To my knowledge he did not fight in Europe so who knows how he got this pistol. I recently spoke with my Dad's youngest brother Michael about some of this. He said when he was about 8 (52 he is now) he remembers the Luger in Fredrick's top droor wrapped in a t shirt. My dad said his mother Emma, my second late grandmother said "Fredrick felt safe when he slept with his gun". My dads brother Michael also said Fredricks war buddies came over one night to play cards,as they did often a lot of them New Yorkers. Thirty plus years after the war they talked about the Rohna sinking. My late grandfather Fredrick, I was told wanted no parts of the discussion. He sat there with his war buddies and kept quiet acting as if he remembered nothing. All a sudden "Uncle Min Diana" oh, Freddy come on you rememba (in a strong New Yorker accent) when da ship was gone down, come on? My late grandfather got up and left for his room for the night. Everyone then heard crying and weeping from down the hall.
A classic case of "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder" this disheartens me that my late grandfather saw these things he could not forget. I later found out in some instance during the war he lost his entire Platoon he was in at the time. How does one get over this horror? Friends dying all around you bombs going off, Bullets in the air? He must along with the other men came close, and truly thought they were going to die. You see My late grandfather was a farm boy. He had never anticipated experiencing, and seeing the malicious side of men, and I assume himself as well. I write about this because it occupies my mind some. However I also see the world headed for a third global conflict. There are small wars happening all over the Middle East and Ukraine as I speak. The moment there is an advance that goes to far countries will begin to go on the defense. Russia will be on the front line along with China and Iran. This would be a terrible time for any conflict to break out considering how the last world war ended. In this day in age there are weapons much stronger than the ones dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Interesting these catastrophes are not committed by women and not even by children, but by men. What is it that has gone truly wrong with the masculine soul? Think of any violence around the world it is mainly committed by men. At the same time it is good men we depend on in times of need. War is always avoidable with better solutions always at hand.War itself will always be the misfortune for many men.
I wonder what the world would have been like if these world wars never took place. Between the two greatest world wars 80 million died, 20 million in the first world war, and 60 million in the second world war. If I watch a movie lately it has been "Band of Brothers" or "The Pacific" I see such a waste of life. I am careful what movies I take for truth, but it is good to get some insight. Alot of these military company's are young men anywhere from 16-25. It is disheartening to me to think young blood was spilled like that, and for what? When Army paratroopers dropped behind enemy lines in Normandy they were scattered all across the French countryside a lot of their equipment was lost and a lot of this mission became unorganized at that point. The beaches of Normandy was a disaster, men leaving the transports 60 at a time just getting mowed down by machine gun bunkers.
As we all know the Nazi party from the 1920's to 1945 in Europe was extremely advanced for their time. They had information and technology that wasn't heard of in that age yet. My late grandfather was a "Master Sergeant" in the Army during World War 2. He left Oran Algeria in North Africa boarding a ship called the "MHT Rohna". It was a British royalty ship used in the 1920's to bring goods from India to Britain in those years ,and was also used by his Majesty for vacation in earlier years. It was later used as a troop transport to bring soldiers to the "Burma,China,India theater of war. The men boarded meanwhile 13 miles off the coast it is said men looking out the portholes see about 30-50 Nazi warplanes approaching this convoy of ships headed for Burma,China,India theater. The Rohna had no anti aircraft weapons however the other ships in the convoy did. The Nazi planes were being shot down at a distance as they approached this convoy of about 13 ships I recall. The boys were clapping whistling and cheering every time a plane went down. One man recalls "saying it was quite a show to watch". Shortly the firing had ceased, meanwhile a Larger plane known as a "Luftwaffe" dropped a small "toy aircraft" looking object from his plane. This small toy aircraft begins flying toward the Rohna all a sudden "Kaboom".
The boys on the ship said the blast from this bomb killed many men instantly, wood splintered and stabbed right through men on impact killing them. Others were knocked out due to how hard the blast was. I recall an older man stating in 2011 " you could grab a two by four and hit me, and it was not as hard as that blast". Meanwhile the men are traumatized by what had just happened ,and thinking what did the Nazi's use as a weapon against our ship? The whole in the side was said to be big enough for a mac truck. So within 90 minutes the ship went down. The lifeboats were destroyed on impact of the bomb. A lot of men are trapped in the boat and never come out, some men are burning alive in the water from the oil leaking from the engine room. Other men are swimming away from the ship to avoid being sucked under. This took place November 25, 1943 so the Mediterranean was extremely cold. So all these men in the water and as the ship went down it is said it was chaos and not even the officers knew what to do. When the ship went down the Nazi's had returned in their warplanes and had their machine guns chirping. Men were getting mowed down in the water trying to get away swimming for their lives. When the siege was over and the Nazi's left the USS Pioneer rescued the survivors. Casualties added up to more than 1,100 mostly US troops. The survivors were brought onto the USS Pioneer given hot food and showers. Later there was a briefing where the men were told never to speak of this incident it is classified. Not among themselves, in letters, nothing at all. If they did they would be brought before a Court Marshall. This is sad because families never knew what happened to loved ones till it was declassified in 1983, the year my late grandfather died. A tragedy of losing more than 1,000 men should be recognized. The remaining survivors of the Rohna were then sent to Burma,China, and India to continue their mission of stopping the Japanese advance into India and the Middle East.I recall my dad saying Fredrick was stationed in Karachi Pakistan for some time as well. It was later revealed that the Nazi's used a Henschel HS 293 Glider Bomb. Which is better know today as a cruise missile. It was a remote controlled missile that was launched by an operator in the nose of the plane with a joy stick similar to Atari or Nintendo. No one in 1943 had ever seen something like that so to know the enemy had this technology was scary. The sinking of the MHT Rohna was the first time ever a cruise missile was used in warfare, and it was second greatest tragedy at sea next to Pearl Harbor.
I am speaking of only one incident during World War 2. What about all the other things my late grandfather and other military personnel saw or experienced? Seeing friends die, the look on another mans face when you stab him in the chest with a bayonet. The feeling that I cannot forget the looks on their faces. Only to think they had families and loved ones as well as I. Or they were only fighting for the freedom of their nation. My uncles say he never spoke about the war. I believe this is because of what he saw, and not because of his orders to keep it s secret. My late grandfather Fredrick even came home with a Nazi Luger. Better known as a German P-08 pistol. This was popular amongst soldiers in war to kill a Nazi and take their Luger home. To my knowledge he did not fight in Europe so who knows how he got this pistol. I recently spoke with my Dad's youngest brother Michael about some of this. He said when he was about 8 (52 he is now) he remembers the Luger in Fredrick's top droor wrapped in a t shirt. My dad said his mother Emma, my second late grandmother said "Fredrick felt safe when he slept with his gun". My dads brother Michael also said Fredricks war buddies came over one night to play cards,as they did often a lot of them New Yorkers. Thirty plus years after the war they talked about the Rohna sinking. My late grandfather Fredrick, I was told wanted no parts of the discussion. He sat there with his war buddies and kept quiet acting as if he remembered nothing. All a sudden "Uncle Min Diana" oh, Freddy come on you rememba (in a strong New Yorker accent) when da ship was gone down, come on? My late grandfather got up and left for his room for the night. Everyone then heard crying and weeping from down the hall.
A classic case of "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder" this disheartens me that my late grandfather saw these things he could not forget. I later found out in some instance during the war he lost his entire Platoon he was in at the time. How does one get over this horror? Friends dying all around you bombs going off, Bullets in the air? He must along with the other men came close, and truly thought they were going to die. You see My late grandfather was a farm boy. He had never anticipated experiencing, and seeing the malicious side of men, and I assume himself as well. I write about this because it occupies my mind some. However I also see the world headed for a third global conflict. There are small wars happening all over the Middle East and Ukraine as I speak. The moment there is an advance that goes to far countries will begin to go on the defense. Russia will be on the front line along with China and Iran. This would be a terrible time for any conflict to break out considering how the last world war ended. In this day in age there are weapons much stronger than the ones dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Interesting these catastrophes are not committed by women and not even by children, but by men. What is it that has gone truly wrong with the masculine soul? Think of any violence around the world it is mainly committed by men. At the same time it is good men we depend on in times of need. War is always avoidable with better solutions always at hand.War itself will always be the misfortune for many men.
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